Enveloped by the warmth.
Surrounded by the silence.
The light gets dark and turns to black.
The darkness takes over but isn’t threatening.
The feeling of weightlessness takes over.
The everyday floats away.
The water washes away everything.
Adrift in the water.
Never felt so good.
She pulled the knife from her chest and smiled.
“Was that supposed to hurt?” She pondered aloud while examining the knife. Hmm… no blood. Guess that armor works after all. Grabbing a cloth from the desk above her, she polished the knife so that there were no fingerprints left on it. Hers or otherwise. She didn’t want to accuse anyone of anything. People take things so seriously these days. No, it’s better that no one know about this. Not yet anyways. Evidence would appear again. Nothing stays hidden for long. Being what she was, there was no way the evidence wouldn’t surface again. She just wasn’t ready for that to happen right now.
As for the person who tried to kill her with the knife, she knew he’d try again. And the next time, she wouldn’t be knocked down.
Pressure. Deadlines. Details, agendas, word counts, editing, frustration. All these things frighten me, yet somehow I work best under pressure. When I have a deadline looming closely, I am able to just sit down, focus and get things done. Time is, of the essence, I’m told. And it really is. When I know something HAS to be in ASAP, I stop worrying about “am I good enough,” or “will people like this.” I just worry about making sure that all the info is represented and makes sense enough to be read.
I’ll admit, I am a procrastinator. Not because I want to be, but because I tend to get all my worrying about being a good writer out in the early days of a project. Then when it comes down to the wire, I just sit and write because it has to be done. Don’t get me wrong, I still have that niggling voice in the back of my head that says “this sucks” and “why did you decide to do this?” But when the pressure is on to perform and something on the paper, doubts take a backseat. They have to. They are still there, but they aren’t as important as getting something done.
Pressure. It can be a good thing if it makes you productive.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and there are a few places in my life that need to be shaken up. So I’ve made the choice to do just that. After seven years at one of my jobs, it is time to say good bye. The owners have sold the store and I’ve been with them since the beginning and it’s time that I leave as well. It’s bittersweet but also a necessity if I am to move forward in my journey. Money may be tight for a bit, but I am not worried. Stressed maybe, but I know that things will be just fine. I’ve been applying like a mad woman for work and I know that something else will come up.
I have also made a choice that I think will benefit me in the long run. I have been thinking about taking a dog training course for the past few months and I almost wasn’t going to do it. But every time that I think about doing it, it just feels right. I feel like I am taking steps in the right direction. I feel that I can successfully combine the education that I have received in writing with the education that I will receive in the dog training program and make a career that I passionate about as well as successful in.
People say that things happen for a reason. Well, I am a believer of this saying and I believe that I am meant to do something in this world that I am passionate about and that I will be good at doing. Education is never a waste and by furthering mine, I know that the steps I am taking now, will lead to more mountains climbed and a better view at the top!
It grips you tight
Wraps around you
Like a vice
Twisting and fighting
to break the hold
You struggle against
But the drag you down
Your will is broken
and your beaten down
Resolve weakens as
the chains tighten
So tight that you can’t
Fighting against the feeling is
It’s buried within
They loosen for awhile
but never go away
A quote by Maya Angelou. ❤
Today on Facebook I came a cross a post about passion and doing what makes you happy. I’ve been questioning this myself lately and I have figured out what makes tick. Now, I just need to remind myself that there is always time to do what you love. If you truly love to do something, then making the time for it is easy. When you have a passion and desire to throw yourself into something, nothing can stop you.
I’ve discovered this about dance. It has taken over a huge chunk of my life and that’s because I love it so much. I make the time to practice and to learn more and more about what I love to do. I spend a little extra money to improve a costume piece or buy an album or DVD to practice to because of the happiness and joy I feel when I immerse myself in my little self-created dance world.
I have recently being to do the same again with writing. I have always loved to write, so much that I pursued a communications degree specializing in professional writing, but there have been long stretches when it’s felt like a chore and that I don’t want to do it anymore. In the last month however, I sort of gave myself a slap in the face and realized that no one is forcing me to write anything that I don’t want to. I need to write about what makes me happy. Or mad. Or sad. I need to write about anything and everything that evokes some sort of emotion in me. This is what truly makes me happy. So much so that I have written for a dance magazine and am doing another piece for them again. This has given me something to look forward and the hope that more and more writing work will come my way. I feel inspired and passionate again about what I am pursuing.
Here’s the link to the article: http://www.theonion.com/articles/find-the-thing-youre-most-passionate-about-then-do,31742/
Let me know what you think!