Five Months…

My Kolby. My sweet, sweet Kolby girl. It’s been five months since you left this world. Five months since a part of my heart left with you when you journeyed to the Rainbow Bridge. It feels like just yesterday that I brought you home. You entered into my life like a whirlwind. You brought your goofy smile and demanding bark into my house, and left paw prints all over place.

Losing you was one of the most devastating things that has ever happened to me. Making the decision to free you from pain was both easy and difficult. Easy because I saw that you were starting to suffer, and that is the last thing that I ever wanted for you. Difficult because I knew that choice would mean that I would never see you, hold you, or kiss you again. It hurt my heart and soul to lose you. You brought so much joy into my life even though you were only with me for a way too short period of time. Landon loved you so much. You helped him gain confidence. You two were partners in crime. Always side by side. The way you two played made me smile. You would definitely put Landon in his place, and he never seemed to mind.

I miss you so very much. I can’t put into words how much you mean to me. I say mean, because you will always be with me. I just wish I could hold you one more time. Even if only for a moment.I love you so much. You will forever be my pretty, pretty princess.


2016, I am Done with You.

2016, what a year you have been. You have given me so many challenges. Emotional challenges that just keep on coming. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m a strong person, this is I know from the challenges of previous events in my life. But this year, well this year has been a clusterfuck for lack of a better word. (Although, I think clusterfuck sums it up nicely.) And being the interesting year that you’ve been, you even did me the courtesy of having the end of 2015 give me a preview of what you would bring.

What am I talking about? Well, first you had December 2015 surprise me with Kolby’s cancer diagnosis. Let me tell you, I was NOT prepared for that. At all. She seemed so healthy, that when the vet informed me her cancer was terminal, I was gobsmacked. How could this beautiful, loving dog that I was adopting into my life be riddled with cancer? Why? Hadn’t she had a hard enough life? Didn’t she deserve to live a long, happy life with me? Then, if that weren’t enough, my grandma who also had cancer fell out of bed and broke her arm and ended up in the hospital. Seriously?!

Then when you came rolling in on January 1st, you let us have a small bit of peace. Until my aunt became so ill that we were scared that we were going to lose her.  She pulled through, but you weren’t finished. Kolby’s cancer progressed so much, that her battle needed to be ended so she wouldn’t suffer. February 6th, 2016 was one of the hardest days of my life. I had to put my girl to sleep. By myself. Why? Because my grandma was in the hospital and my parents had left town that day to see her. So they didn’t get to say goodbye. At least my aunt, my best friend and her daughter were able to be with me because I don’t know what I would have done if I had to be all alone.

March came along and saw my grandmother’s condition worsen and her battle was lost as well. But you decided that wasn’t good enough, and had to make my uncle sick causing him to miss his mother’s funeral. And let’s just say his condition is serious without the added rushes to the hospital that you had him make. I’m just glad that you decided that he’d been through enough the last few years and spared him.

But you decided that you weren’t done with me. I, apparently, have not had enough. No. apparently, being given a break is not in the cards. No. You had to do me one more time. You decided that this year needed to be topped off big. You decided that it would okay to announce that my dad has prostate cancer. Low-grade, sure. But cancer nonetheless. Because cancer is going to be the ruling factor in my life. This disease that has wrecked havoc on the lives of so many, has become the one disease that just won’t quit affecting my loved ones.

2016, you are not over yet but I do hope you are over causing me grief. Because if you are not, you can be damn sure that I WILL own 2017 and will own it with a vengeance!


People have got me thinking lately. There are so many people living so many lives. Good people. Bad people. Rich people. Poor people. People from all over the world.  So many different belief systems. So alike and yet so different in so many ways. What’s really got me thinking about them is this controversy over trophy hunting and the death of Cecil the Lion. It’s a tragedy on so many levels. I don’t agree with hunting at all. Unless you are hunting for survival because you would die without having to hunt, then I am sorry but I don’t agree with it. I don’t think it’s a sport. Tracking and killing an animal to mount it’s head on your wall? Sure, you may eat the meat, but parts of the animal go to waste. Unless you live in remote wilderness and use every part of the animal. But that is different.

This post isn’t about hunting though. It’s about people. People and what they believe that they are entitled to. People who make hundreds of thousands of dollars tend to live a good life. It’s debatable as to whether those lives are happy or not, but they tend to be able to live comfortably. Many don’t think of the waste they produce. Or, if they have children, the people they’re creating. Now I know that not all children who have parents with money are spoiled brats. But there are those out there that are. Sometimes it’s not even the children who are brats, but the parents. Then again, there are people who are less fortunate who don’t dwell on their situations and make the best of all they have. On the same token, there are those less fortunate who sit around blaming society, their parents, or whomever for what they lack. What is it about the world today that has created such beings?

Why does humanity seem to lack the actual human part of the word? There are people out their who exemplify the very essence of being humane. Those selfless beings that give what they can and do no harm, never asking for anything in advance. I am aware that these people exist and that there are many of them. But lately I seem to notice the ones who aren’t so…pleasant. The ones who lack a certain patience. Manners. Kindness. Decorum. Basic human interactions. Has this happened because in this world of computers and smartphones, iPads and tablets that we have lost the art of being connected? I feel like it is. The more I find myself on my phone, the more I forget about what’s going on around me. That’s a scary thing. Being so “connected” with technology draws me away from what is important. It makes me numb. It makes me crazy. I start to lose more of myself the more I engage in those glowing screens.

Thankfully, I still know how to carry on a conversation with someone when they are face to face with me. I can still write a sentence with actual words and not shortened letters that would make no sense if I wrote them in a letter or birthday card. Thankfully. I can also live with being attached to my phone. Secretly (or not so secretly) I sometimes am relieved when I forget my phone at home. I don’t always text message people back right away and I know it makes them crazy. But you what makes me crazy? The fifteen messages people send you if you don’t answer right away. Chill already! If it’s that important, maybe you should call me. Otherwise. I am not an on-call emergency doctor. I don’t need to answer the second I get  your message. Yes, I will get back to you. Eventually.

But this entitlement to having everything we want and having it NOW is ridiculous. No one is entitled to anything. People need to relearn patience, hard work, and how to NOT always get what they want. Because sometimes, when you don’t get what you want, something better comes your way. Other times it doesn’t, and that should be okay too.

People of all walks of life would benefit from being less entitled and more aware. Aware of what? Simple. Aware of everything.

Update! I’m still here!

I am officially a certified dog trainer! Yay me! I’m quite proud of this accomplishment. The course I took may not be the best out there, as there are a few people I have heard from in the doggie rescue/ training world that they didn’t like it. For me, it was a good introduction to dog training and all that is K9. I think I lucked out in who I got to teach me in my externship. My mentor trainer has over 15 years experience as a vet tech and behaviourist. I’ve learned the basics in my test books, but my mentor trainer has helped me put what I have learned into practice and has taught me so much more than what I learned about in my manuals. Once I have some teaching under my belt, I definitely want to continue my education and plan to seek out more courses that’ll help me in my journey as a trainer/behaviourist. If anyone has any recommendations, I am totally open to them!

What else have I been up to? Mainly just working at Waggytails and Bedouin Beats, but I love every minute of both. The summer has been hot, but good. It’s rare that we get it a super warm summer, so I’ve been enjoying it. Spending lots of time with my pup and that’s my favourite thing to do! Nothing means more to me than Landon and he always bring me joy. Even when he is being a poop-head! But he’s my poop-head and I love him!

What else can I say? I’m really happy with how my life is going right now. And I want to continue on this path. I feel fulfilled.

I hope you do too!

Dogs who Stand for Something

These dogs are my heroes! They deserve all the love and happiness in the world! I can’t imagine the horror they went through and I will never understand it. How can anyone look at an innocent animal and put them through the unimaginable anguish that these dogs suffered is beyond my thought process or even my wildest imagination. I am so thankful that their lives were spared and that they are ambassadors not only for their breed, but for abuse sufferers who have been the worst and have come out the best!

To the Vicktory Dogs, each one of you has my heart. I may never meet any of you, but you will always carry a piece of my heart and my soul. I love you all!

Graphic language and ranting rambles ahead. Tread carefully, but don’t complain to me. I don’t care.

I am so tired. Tired of the senseless torture, maiming and violence that is inflicted upon the innocent beings in this world. My soul feels like it’s dying. It probably is. What really angers me is the approach that “these people need help” and “let’s educate them on what’s right and wrong.” No. This overly politically correct world that we live in is a farce. I am all for helping those who truly need mental help and educating the ignorant, but some people are beyond both. Some people need to experience “eye for an eye” justice. And yes, some of those people are twelve year olds.

The pathetic excuse of being a juvenile delinquent is disgusting. If you can torture and abuse an animal or a fellow human being for “fun,” you do not deserve to be in public. Ever. You deserve to have done to you as you have done to them. Do I believe in God? Not anymore. Why? Because I don’t
believe in having a being around at “Judgment Day” to give these assholes their due. They need punishment now. And they need it severely. Like life behind bars. Taxpayers going to whine about it? Fine, send them my way. You can pay for my jail sentence when my brand of justice is handed out. And believe me, my brand of justice will make Charles Manson look like Santa Claus.

This world needs to wake the fuck up. This world need to change. And this world needs me to get off of it because I cannot stand to be on it anymore. (And for those of you who think I’m going to do something to myself, get over it. Not going to happen.) I just want off of a planet that justifies these atrocities. Wake up world. Isis isn’t going to kill you, but your ten year old neighbour with a fetish for microwaving his cats might.