I Am Spent

Today has been one of those days. You know the one. It’s a day that always starts out like the rest. You have your daily stressors, sometimes more than normal, and think things are going okay. Then WHAM! Something so unexpected slaps you across the face and you are left reeling. Not from the slap itself but from the sting that it leaves behind. Maybe in the back of your mind, what has happened, is not so unexpected but the fact that it’s happened at this point in time, just seems like the final straw. Just when you feel like you’re treading water, a rip comes along and pulls you down. You struggle and wonder how to get and stay afloat. 


That is where I am at right now. Struggling to stay strong and stay afloat. I know these up coming days are not going to be easy. There are things that are going to need to be considered and things that are going to need to be done. The outcome of it all will always have those involved left wondering. Wondering if the choices made are/were the right ones and if there was more that could/should be done. 

I am not a fan of the what-to-do-nexts and the where-do-we-go-from-heres. I don’t mind the unknown and look forward to the future, but sometimes the present is difficult to accept and is difficult to plan for. The future is never set in stone and is always changing. Living in the present is the key to life. It’s the easiest way to be. But in cases like these, the future is set in stone and the present is unknown. Not so rare circumstances that happen to people everyday. Choices they have to make that influence not only themselves but others. The lives of others is in their hands. While some may find this to be an ideal situation, I prefer to be in charge of myself only. Being responsible for someone is a good thing, but having to think and choose for them is quite another. Especially when they are mentally capable of doing their own thinking and choosing. But sometimes, they need outside opinions and are reliant on what is thought. In the end, who knows who is right? Who knows what is right? 

I don’t know. And I am spent.

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