I smile though my heart is breaking…

Numbness has set in. At least for the daylight hours. Yesterday felt the same and I broke down and cried while I was in the bath tub. Today, we find that Auntie Beth passed away. It was this morning and I guess the only consolation is that her recovery would have been long and painful. But it still doesn’t make it easier. This month ad the last few weeks have been a train wreck in terms of getting bad news and the emotions that go with them. 


I wish it was over with already. I just don’t even know what to do or where to go or even at this point, how to feel. There’s just so many things going on in my head that it feels like there is nothing going on in there. 
I’m rambling and I make no sense right now. This I realize. 


Sadness, grief, pain, anger all balled up into a swirling mess of muck in my head and in my heart. 


Ugh. That’s all I can really say.