Treading…

I am going to be positive. I have to be. These negative thoughts that are threatening my sanity need to go. Go far away. I have done nothing wrong. I have done what feels right. Right for me. Right for my life. I get stuck and it is s hard for me to set myself free. These negative emotions only reek havoc on my life. I do have a bell jar hanging above my head. It’s always there. But I am fighting this time to hang on to the rope that keeps it in the air. It cannot descend. I will not let it.

I feel so at a loss. There is so much for me to do that I can’t start…It’s hard to start. Once again I don’t know where to begin. I should be working on the mound of school that is in front of me. But it buries me. I sift through it. I can’t find the escape. I am sucked in. Locked in. Boxed in. I cannot move. In need of reprive.

I am possesed by a person that is not me. I don’t know why she shows up when she does. I don’t like her but she won’t leave. She is the negativity. Somehow I invite in. Somehow she knows when to show up. How to make her leave. How to make her know she won’t hold me down. Can’t close me in.

Positivity stay. Make your counterpart disappear. Non-existant. Gone.

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